I am not Sleeping with Reid
by Leteliny
Summary: After Morgan refuses to share a room with Reid in Alaska, the others decide to cheer the genius up and play a little prank on Morgan. So JJ and Prentiss knock on Reid's door with a plan and somehow were able to convince Rossi and Hoth to join. Friendship and awkward fun for the BAU family. Spoilers for episode 05X21


It was an exhausting day, so the agents of the BAU team just wanted to go and get some sleep. The weather in Alaska was harsh and cold, but the cabin was cozy, promising warm and comfortable beds.

So when the sheriff announced that there were only four rooms available and they would have to share, the atmosphere became awkward to say the least. The agents exchanged glances in visible discomfort. Morgan was first to object.

"I am not sleeping with Reid!"

Poor Spencer could only feel confused and rejected. He knew he was awkward and sometimes didn't know when to stop reciting statistics, but he wasn't so bad, was he? He felt like in high school all over again. Minus the bullying, and the beatings, and the humiliation… Okay, so it wasn't exactly like high school. But it didn't make him feel better about the fact that one of the people calling himself his friend refused to share a room with him, without any hesitation.

Garcia called "Dibs" to claim Morgan as her roommate. No one thought any of it. The two of them were always playing some kind of a flirting friendship game so the team was used to it. Still Spencer felt like an abandoned puppy. Well, that wasn't the first time he was unwanted, certainly wouldn't be the last, so no big deal. He really made himself believe it, as much as it was possible.

After the sheriff gave them the keys, the agents grabbed their bags and headed for the second floor where the rooms were. JJ and Prentiss paired up, being both girls and all, Garcia dragged her "chocolate god" in their room by the arm, and Rossi and Hotch wished Spencer goodnight before entering their own room.

He was left alone in the hall by himself, friendless and pouting a little.

So he decided to man up and stop caring that he was picked last again. At least the whole bed would be only his. Yeah, he was going to get a good night's sleep. Take that, all you bed-sharing, betraying friends!

He went inside, prepared for bed and was just going to wrap himself with the fluffy comforter, when there was a knock on the door.

"Spence, it's JJ," came the muffled voice from the other side of the door.

Spencer froze. Why was JJ outside his room, did something happen?

"Emily too," came Prentiss' voice.

He hurried to open the door. "JJ, Emily, what is it?"

Then JJ smiled. It was a disturbing smile if you asked Spencer. Trust him when he says he knew when someone had a bad idea involving him. "Oh, look Emily," she said, "he is in pajamas. Is that going to work?"

Wait, work what? Spencer shifted wide eyes from Emily to JJ, worried by their odd smiles.

"Sure, we'll make it nerdy hot."

Finally he decided to speak. "Make what hot?" It came more high-pitched than he liked. Your voice would get like that too if two of your friends came to your hotel room with shady plans and disturbing smiles.

Emily pushed him inside the room. "You, handsome." Then she turned to the dark hallway and called. "Rossi, Hotch, you can come in."

"What's going on?" Spencer managed to ask. He looked like a gang of UnSubs entered his room. It was a justified thought, if you asked him.

Rossi closed the door after he and Hotch were inside and said. "Girls, are you sure about that? The kid looks like he is going to have a panic attack. I don't want him to faint, hit his head and forget the twenty seven libraries he had memorized."

Then he turned to Spencer. "Don't ask me how they convinced us, I still don't know. I had to seriously blackmail Aaron to make him agree to this. Oh, the good old days. "Rossi winked at Hotch who glared at him like he could incinerate him on the spot. Rossi shrugged. "Anyway…"

Hotch pinched the bridge of his nose. They were all wearing their pajamas, so if Spencer were not busy plotting his escape, he would find the situation funny.

Rossi continued. "The idea is that these two here," he pointed at the two smiling girls who waved at Spencer, "want to prank Morgan. And make you feel better about being left out."

Spencer relaxed. He smiled, forgetting for a moment his justified worries, which wasn't a good idea in a room full of experienced profilers. "Thank you guys, but it's okay. Someone had to sleep alone. At least I have the whole bed for myself."

Prentiss frowned. "That's good and all, but what Morgan did was pretty messed up for a friend." She produced a camera from somewhere. "So we are going to fix that." She grinned, a mischievous sparkle in her eyes.

Spencer backed a few steps. "W-what do you mean?"

Emily and JJ shared a meaningful glance. JJ approached him. "Get on the bed Spencer," she shoved him gently.

Spencer panicked. His eyes grew as wide as alien saucers while he looked imploringly at his fellow male agents.

"Hotch, Rossi, aren't you going to do something? Why aren't you saying something? Are just going to watch?" He squeaked while the girls advanced on him.

JJ rolled her eyes. "Oh, come on, Spence. We'll just take a few pictures and have some fun. Don't act like we are going to molest you or something." She ruffled his hair and smiled fondly when he pouted. Prentiss burst into laughter, Rossi chuckled and Hotch massaged his temples. "Why am I allowing this again?" their boss lamented to no one in particular but himself.

Rossi leaned close to his ear and whispered something. Hotch went so pale, Spencer worried he would have to explain why his boss died suddenly in the middle of his room wearing pajamas. Hotch coughed avoiding eye contact. "Yeah well, be glad I am not reporting you to Strauss. Let's get this over with."

Prentiss raised her brows. "Whoa, you've got to have something solid on the boss, Rossi. _Tell me later_." She switched to Italian.

" _Maybe,_ " Rossi replied with a little smirk.

Hotch's patience was wearing thin. "Cut the Italian, Dave. I have some dirt on you too. Remember that time…"

Rossi clapped his hands with a little too much enthusiasm. "Well, come on kids. Reid, stop looking like we are going to sell your kidneys on the black market."

Spencer looked puzzled for a moment. "Is there any other market for stolen internal organs?"

Prentiss face-palmed. "Of all the reactions…"

JJ made Spencer sit on the bed. "Let's show Morgan what he missed by refusing to bunk with you." She sat in his lap ignoring how stiff and mortified he looked.

Prentiss gave the camera to Rossi. "Yeah, ladies love statistic talk, Reid." She hugged him sideways, kissing him on the cheek while Rossi took photos.

Hotch spoke and made everyone freeze in their motions. "Reid, calm down. This is just harmless fun." They were looking at him like he was wearing a tutu. When he saw that they were still staring at him after a few seconds stunned into not moving, he added. "Let's finish this so we can all go to sleep."

Spencer relaxed after he realized he was not going to be pranked in some sadistic way. Who could blame him? They had dealt with way too many insane people and had plenty of material for ideas. Anyway, he tried to have fun posing with JJ and Prentiss cuddled together to both of his sides, kissing his cheeks. He was happy that his friends and colleagues who he considered family had thought of a way to cheer him up. Albeit being reckless, out of character and the whole scenario highly improbable. But whatever, he was enjoying it while it lasted.

Rossi turned off the camera. "Okay, we are done." He turned to Spencer. "See, it didn't hurt, did it?" He pushed a glaring Hotch in the direction of the door. "Aaron, let's go get some sleep. And relax please, I feel like you are going to scowl to death here. You snore when you are grumpy."

Hotch sighed but then he smiled a little. "Good night, Reid. Rest well."

Rossi patted him on the back. "See, much better."

They closed the door behind them and Spencer looked at the girls who were high-fiving themselves. "Yeah, let's show Mr. Ladies Man that our genius here is nerdylisious." Emily winked at Spencer.

He smiled. "I doubt that term would gain popularity with the masses, but thank you for caring."

JJ put a hand on his shoulder. "Anytime, Spence. What are friends for?"

After they left, Spencer got in bed, wrapped himself with the warm comforter and went to sleep smiling. It was great to have friends.

The morning after they finished the case, Morgan was walking into the bullpen, when he saw something on his desk. There were spread photos on it. He walked closer, picking up one. It showed a laughing Spenser Reid in his pajamas with Prentiss and JJ on both his sides kissing his cheeks, while hugging him. He flipped the picture and saw that there was writing on the back. It said: "You missed the fun. Nerds rule."

Morgan tapped the picture on his other hand and smiled.

"Touche, kid."

A/N: Hey, if you made it that far, thank you for reading. You are the best! I hope you liked it at least a little.

I am sorry for any mistakes. Feel free to tell me what I messed up.

Thanks for stopping by!


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